bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
id be glad to
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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