Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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