Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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