Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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