she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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