what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
