you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
