Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
home. puking in laundry basket.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well I just put wine in my tea
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
