Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
this will be a night to untag.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think weed is turning my hair brown
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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