I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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