i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
