No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
