Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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