When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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