the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
