whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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