I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
