What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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