Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
