I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
