yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize