who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
