bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
