hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
