Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize
