Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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