It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
