last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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