Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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