guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
