All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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