I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
