I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
