your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
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Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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