my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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