but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
