I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
