ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize
