I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize