you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
