Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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