jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
