That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
