just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
