For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
either way he was missing a nipple.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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