You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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