His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
