Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
