well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
