So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
