BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
