we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
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