i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
