Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
