Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It's just like the Real World with babies
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize