..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
