Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
