i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Walk of Shame today included voting.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
