Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
