You can't motorboat a personality
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize