I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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