Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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